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Freedom ; Sunday, September 24, 2006 2:57 AM
When we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side. I saw this happen tons of times before. And yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! No phonecalls, no distant music, not eventhe taste of lips. How is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before to vanish so quickly?
Life moves very fast. It rushes us from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.
If I were to tell someone about my life today, i could do it in a way that would make them think that I am a brave, happy, independent person. RUBBISH! I don't even dare to bring up the name of the person that I am still in love with.
All my life, i thought of love as some kind of voluntary ensalvement. Well, that's a lie: freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives himself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most whole heartedly.
That is why, regardless of what I might experience, do or learn, nothing makes sense. I hope this time passes quickly, so that I can resume my search for myself- in the form of a lover who understands me and does not make me sufffer.
But what am I saying? In love, no one can harm anyone else: we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel.
It hurt when I lost each of the various people I fell in love with. Now, though, I am convinced that no one loses anybody, because no one owns anybody..
That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.
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